1. |
Caprikorn
01:48
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I saw the cutest Caprikorn last night
I turned on the L word and it was love at first sight
She's too punk to ever wear a bra
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi
Katherine Moennig, what do you say
We could get away, I could be your slave
We could even listen to t.A.T.u.
Or go a different route and put in Brody Dalle
Cuz ya know that she's a Caprikorn too
I don't wanna die never knowing why
That we didn't end up in this lyfe
Next lyfe I'll be your husband or your wife
And I'll bake you lots of pies
And I would trim your Bonsai
There's lots of Caprikorns, Ricky Martin, Edgar Allan Poe
But I like you the most
Michelle Obama, Paula Deen, Davy Jones
But I like you the most
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2. |
Aquarius
02:17
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What a delight the Aquarians are
I wanna take all my favorites to the salad bar
And start a band with Billie Joe on guitar
And Yoko Ono rockin out on the chimes
And Sonny Bono's hologram on the sicknasty rhymes
And Sheryl Crow could rock the xylophone sometimes
And Michael Jordan on the accordion
And fronted by Alicia Keys and Ice-T
But if there was just one hot plate Aquarius chosen to enslave us
Goddess pray it's Geena Davis
Geena Davis, I really think that she could save all of us
She could flush Abe Lincoln's ghost down the toilet any day
Geena Davis, she is the queen of all the Aquarians
Sorry Oprah, sorry Ellen, Geena takes the cake
Cuz she's so great, she's so great
All my thermometers are gettin hotter
Cuz I like Geena Davis a lotter
What's a guy to do, would I look like a fool
If I asked to be her husband in Beetlejuice 2
And if that didn't work then at least I could say I tried
I can't sleep at night
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3. |
Pisces
00:53
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So many Pisces all across the world
Half of them are boys the other half are girls
It's 2 fishys swimming in harmony
But we're just here to talk about celebrities
Kurt Cobain, Chuck Norris, Drew Barrymore, Karen Carpenter, Bruce Willies
SHAQ!
P.... I.....S....C...E....S
FUCK YEA, PISCES
P.... I.....S....C...E....S
FUCK YEA, PISCES
QUEEN LATIFAH, QUEEN LATIFAH, QUEEN LATIFAH, QUEEN LATIFAH, QUEEN LATIFAH
SHAQ!
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4. |
Aries
01:31
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Lucy Lawless, she's so flawless, she's not ball-less
But you know she's the walrus
Wait a minute, I don't get it
She isn't human, I just wish she'd admit it
There's no comparies to this Aries
Wait, nevermind cuz oh yeah Mariah Careyyy.... EeeeeeEEEEE
Cuz I can't even think about her without fallin over in my chair
Her aura is a lovely color
I think that we would make a good pair
She's my #1
She's my smiling sun
And I'd like to go on a boat with her sometime
She's my #1
She's my smiling sun
And I'd like to go on a boat with her sometime
I'd so totes go on a boat with her
I'd like to go on a boat with her sometimeeeeeee ayeee
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5. |
Taurus
02:03
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7'4", 500 pounds
Can't get through the door, can't fit in the bathroom
I don't wanna be big in Japan anymore
The 156 beers that I drank last night just might get me through
Plus the 16 bottles of wine I'm gonna drink before I get on the flight
Does anybody want a peanut?
TyranoTaurus
This is the chorus about the biggest ever Taurus
No, not Kobe Bryant
Oh girl, it's Andre the Giant
I'm gonna set off a riot next time I watch Princess Bride, oh yeah
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6. |
Gemini
02:24
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Geminis you're all friends of mine
When I try to say goodbye, I choke and everytime I die
And I love Jewel, she's so grool
And then there's Paula Abdul
Can we all just go and just hang by the pool
And there's always something more to them that I don't understand
Why won't Stevie Nicks respond to my fan mail or be in my band
I had a dream that Courtney Cox and me went to the sea and shared our feelings
She rolled a huge joint and then she passed it onto me
Oh what a dream, just Courtney and me
She went and turned on the Stereo and put on Jagged Little Pill
And said you'll get way higher of Alanis than cannabis
I'll show you, oh I will
Geminis like Cristy Road ayeeayeeeayeee
When I try to say goodbye, I choke and everytime I die
Wish I was courtin Natalie Portman
At a beach resort, oh man
With Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen
And if Stevie Nicks would call me sometime that would be alright
We could go have a picnic in the park or maybe even fly a kite
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7. |
Cancer
01:25
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All you need is Courtney Love
Those Cancer babes are totes sent from above
Like Jane Lynch, great comedienne
And Josh Hartnett is such a 10
And I don't know what he's done to me
Do you even know what he's done to me
And I don;t even know what's my sexuality
My sexuality
30 Days of Night was rad
Except when vampires died, that was sad
Alaska sucks, but I don't care
For Josh Hartnett I'd totes move there
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8. |
Leo
01:39
|
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I love the Leos, yeah Sandra Bullock's killing it time and again
Miss Congeniality's more than a movie, yeah its my best friend
And fuck that fuckin movie you were gonna rent
Cuz I'm so fucking getting Flubber again
You wanna know why
For Marcia Gay Harden
Gillian Anderson's a flaming star that's hotter than the sun
My particular favorite time is when she wears that latex on her buns
I wanna go out with Amelia Earhart and go get lost in that big wet ocean
My baby knows
Leos are #1
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9. |
Virgo
02:24
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I love Shania, what a gorgeous name
If we got married I'd so fucking be Kate Twain
I'm not superstitious, okay that is a lie
When a black cat crossed my path I knew just the reason why
Cuz I've been sendin my good intentions
And when I meet her I know I'm gonna cry
I went out on a starry night and wished that we could be together
And the full moon was so bright
With her photo underneath its light
I went and asked the universe to go and make everything right
Virgos respond to witchkraft
Just go ask William Howard Taft
I think I know what the aftermath of my spell will be
Let's stop pretending, I know our ending
So just stop looking cuz you know I'm your guy
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10. |
Libra
02:07
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This is a song for all the lovely lovely libras I've met
and all the ones I see only in dreams and on TV
I just wanna hang with you and probably lots of cats too
so lets go to the cat cafe and sip on the catnip tea
and I love Avril Lavigne like I love nicotine
but October 15th is just the best day to be born
I'm so glad you were born
Happy birthday to us, I'm gonna buy a bitchin birthday party bus
and we could fill it full of cats and libras
you know like Hillary Duff
We could go and check out the mall
and deliberate Hot Topic's rise and fall
and you know just whatever typical Libra stuff, Libra stuff
you better brace yourself cuz our birthday is comin up
We Libras need our me time
but we're generous with our free time
We do a lot for those we really care about
We are usually productive
and we're naturally seductive
If we like you
we can likely get you to like us too
Just like Eminem
we love all our friends
and we'll chase them and our dreams down narrow paths with countless bends
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11. |
Scorpio
01:24
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I've got a crush on a scorpio
Leo DiCaprio, Hillary Clintono, Sylvia Plath
Piper Perabo, and Picasso, Whoopi Goldberg makes me laugh
I love a good scorpio, they're passionately alive
Mysterious and emotional, is Winona bi?
Winonaaa
Ryderrrrrr
Winonaaa
Ryderrrrrr
Winonaaa
Ryderrrrrr
I am utterly alone, I am utterly alone
By the time you read this I will be gone
Having plummeted off the winter river bridgeeeeeee
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12. |
Sagittarius
01:55
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Honey wake up, Anna greet the day
Anna, honey, you gotta wake up, greet the day
That's it I've had it Anna, hurry up
Anna hurry up
Anna hurry up
I don't want my maid of honor looking like a little harlot
You know what, end of discussion
Enough, let's not do this now please
And oh look, it's Stacy Hinkhouse
Hi Stacy
Goodbye honey, make good choices
Make good choices
Make good choices
I don't want my maid of honor looking like a little harlot
A journey soon begins
Its prize reflected in another eyes
When what you see is what you lack
Then only selfless love will change you back
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